Why generosity and gratitude are the secret to a powerful professional network

by Felicity Becker, author of Boost your Employability, and co-author of Seven Steps to Career Success and Acing Online Assessment. Felicity Becker is our October Mentor-in-Residence. Use the code SAGE30 for a discount when you order her books through SAGE Publishing.

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Whether professionally or personally, we all rely on relationships to get along in life. These relationships will have differing degrees of depth and importance to you. When starting out on your career journey, you will need to establish who is already a part of your network, such as your family, friends, acquaintances you have made through your studies and colleagues. Once you know who is already involved in your network, you will be able to establish where there are gaps and be able to seek out new contacts through networking events, conferences, social media and so on. You should foster your relationships with those in your network by regularly communicating with them on a human level before you bring business into things. Before trying to make new connections, you will want to establish what your brand is. This will make it easier for you to introduce yourself succinctly and accurately. It will also enable the recipient to understand how you will fit into their network. For example, you might say “hello. I am Helen. I found your blog post about climate change fascinating and have recently completed a degree in environmental science. Are you presenting at an upcoming conference I might attend?” By asking a question on the end, you are drawing the other person into conversation about something they have an interest in, which is a good start to building a relationship with them.

Top tip

Most people enjoy talking about themselves and will feel pleased to be asked to talk about what they have been doing. Be an active listener and engage them in conversation before you ask anything of them. This way you can establish a more personal connection with them and you will be able to see if there is a way that you can be of use to them, creating a balanced and reciprocal relationship.

The first secret to building a strong professional network is to be generous; do not wait to get something from someone before you give something. If you can help them out, whether that is by arranging an introduction for them, sharing information with them or completing an activity to help them, then do so. This will create good will between you, and you will feel more sure-footed when it comes to a time that you need to ask them for a favour.

Some people believe that you get what you deserve and if you have been generous with your time, resources and energy then it will return to you from others. Whether you believe this to be true or not, you are far more likely to move along in your career with the help of others as most professions involve good relationships.

Top tip

If you are wondering if you are right to be generous in offering to do something for someone else, particularly if you do not know them well, imagine that you were in their position. Would you accept the help? Even if you did not accept it, would you feel glad to have been offered it?

Generosity is the initial part of building a powerful network. The second part is to show gratitude for the help you have received. Think of the last time someone said “thank you” to you. How did it make you feel? Were you expecting to be thanked? Did that display of appreciation make you more likely to help again? Now think of a time when someone was more specific, when they said, “thank you for…”. What were the resulting feelings and thoughts you had at the time? There are two possible reasons you are likely to have noticed and felt more valued after being issued a more specific thanks. Firstly, it would have taken more time to receive and process what the other person was grateful for and so you would have registered it as more significant than a brief “thanks”. Secondly, it generally makes us feel proud and valued for an act that would have cost us something in time and effort (whether this be a little or a lot). Most people, when they have given advice, made an introduction or done something for another person, will want to know the result of that assistance. If you take the time to write, call or speak with the person who helped, you demonstrate to them that not only were their actions valued but they were valued too.

If you are feeling awkward about showing you are grateful to someone you do not know well, remember that you can never be too polite, but you can certainly be not polite enough. Ideally you would go back to the person in your network who helped you in a reasonable amount of time. If the results of that help are taking longer than expected, it would be kind to let them know so that they do not think you have forgotten them.

Top tip

If you have left it a long time to get back to the person who assisted you and you are not sure how to then say thank you, begin by reaffirming your connection, apologise for not being in touch and explain the delay if you can, then thank them for their input.

A final word…

When you are beginning your career journey, you are likely to rely heavily on people in your network. You will be able to establish and maintain a powerful professional network by being polite, professional and personable. Remember to pay forward the kindness and generosity you received when you can, as it will keep your network powerful and expanding, and it will make you feel happier to utilise your network to your advantage.